Be Okay
by Peeniss12
Summary: This is all about how Katniss must overcome her fears. One that is what is love and who is love with. Gale or Peeta. Love has never come easy to Katniss and now she must choose? In 1st person! Rated M for later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**CHAPTER 1**

As I lay in bed next to Peeta the thought keeps tugging at me. The thought of Gale in district 2. Was he alone? Did he ever think about me? Though I love Peeta with all my heart and would never leave him I still wonder what my life would be like is Gale had never left. Would we still be friends? Would he be the one laying next to me? No. I can't think this way, I love Peeta and Gale made the decision. If he really loved me or wanted to be with me he would have stayed or at least said something to convince me, maybe. I don't know anything anymore.

Peeta looks over at me; he always seems to know if I'm awake. I try to pretend to be sleeping but it's no use.

"Are you awake?" I can feel his faint smile and he starts to remove stray hairs from my face.

"Ya I'm sorry if I woke you up." I turn on my side so that I'm facing him. Because I don't really think that talking to Peeta about Gale is the best idea I try my best to convince him that nothing is wrong. At least I hope that nothing is wrong. I tell him to go back to bed and give him a quick kiss on the lips and then snuggle into his arms.

In a matter of moments I can feel the steady breath of his sleeping body. It gives me comfort to know that Peeta is and will always be here for me.

I wake to Peeta's hot breath on my ear. I don't want to get up but if I want to make it to the woods before dawn is gone I need to hurry.

As I am trying to wiggle out of Peeta's arms I can feel him wake. I'm hoping he will just fall back asleep, but just my luck he is already fully awake and kissing down my neck. It sends sweet shivers through my whole body.

"Good morning beautiful." Peeta says in the most innocent but yet seductive way.

"I didn't mean to wake you. Again. Sorry."

"Don't be sorry I get to wake up to you everyday don't I?" He gives me a smile.

I can't help it I have to giggle a little. Peeta tries to get me back in bed. But with all my thoughts of Gale I know I need to go and just be alone for a while.

As I am walking out of our house I hear Haymitch yell to me.

"You going to see Gale there sweetheart?" What! Since when was Gale here!? I look at him and by the look in my eyes he knows I did not know until now. He only points to the train station. And at that I am running as fast as I can right to the train station. But as I am running thoughts start to run in my mind to. Maybe he came back to fight for me! What if Peeta is mad! But one thought does make me stop right in my tracks. How had the fact that the only invention he had ever made was what had killed Prim my last real loving family, the whole reason I really lived or even went into the hunger games.

I find myself in the woods crying for hours. I am confused and it's starting to get lightly dark. If I don't get back soon Peeta will start to worry. As I am walking back towards the fence I hear him. I turn around fast and then see him just standing there silent yet deadly to me. Gale. We just stand there and stare at each other for a long moment then he breaks the silence

"Hey there Catnip." I don't know what to say it's been a long while since we last talked.

"Um hi." Is all I seem to be able to get out. He gives me a faint smile and laugh.

"How are you?" He starts to look concerned.

"Fine I guess." This conversation feels dull we really have nothing to talk about. I know I must look confused and tired and sad. He starts to move closer to me. I would normally take a step back but I feel so out of it I don't move.

"I really missed you." He moves even closer. Then all of a sudden is lips meet mine. I am so shocked my reaction is delayed. I am pulling away when I feel his tongue enter my mouth! I start to panic but can't pull away .Gale is holding me tight to his body. I am freaking out and some weird logic tells me maybe if I kiss him back a little he will let me go. But instead I start to feel him getting hard. As soon as I feel him I am really flipping! I hit him hard in the head and he finally lets me go. I look at him a second then I am running fast again. Thoughts running fast too.

When I finally enter Peeta and I's house I find Peeta is sitting on the couch looking very worried. I had been gone all day then home late, it really was nothing like me to be out so long. When I reach him he is standing and looking a little mad. But as soon as a see the small part of mad in his eyes I lose it. I am wailing and I can't even speak. Although I want to tell Peeta now all about what happened with Gale I know it would only put Gale at risk of well, his life. S I decide to keep quit and just spend a few days home with Peeta.

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	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER 2**

It's been about a week since my kiss with Gale. The thought haunts me every night, every time Peeta kisses me, smiles at me, touches me, and warms me. It's like the only thing I think about now. I want to tell Peeta but it would only hurt him and Gale.

I walk into the kitchen to find a smiling Peeta and a delicious plate of cheese buns waiting for me. Gale, Gale, Gale. God, I just can't take anymore after all that we have been through this can't be the worst.

"Good morning. How did you sleep?"

"Um… Fine." I don't know what to say "Can we talk?"

"Why, what's wrong?" I can see he is already worried by my words.

"Um well the other day when I was out hunting Gale was… he was there." Peeta just sits there and stares at me waiting to hear what I say next.

"And well that day I was disoriented, and he …" Oh god this is going to be the worst part!

"He kissed me, and I kissed him back thinking it would make him stop but it only got worse." I'm starting to get really upset now. "I'm so sorry Peeta!" He is still just staring but not even at me anymore. He looks so hurt and mad.

"Did you like it?" He still is not looking at me but at least he said something to me no matter how mad he sounded.

"Of course not!"

"Then why would you kiss him back?!" Okay he got me there.

"I thought he would let me go bu..." He cuts me off.

"In what world would that make someone STOP kissing you? I know if you ever really kissed me back I would not pull away." Ouch that stung. What does he mean REALLY kissed back?

"I kiss you back every time!" I know I shouldn't be mad about this but … There is no but. What am I mad about? He gets up but I know that this can't be the end of the conversation.

"Don't go." I am suddenly hit with all these different emotions. Sadness, anger, love, hate, want. I start to cry and he stops in front of me .I give him hug but he just stands there.

"I really need some space." I know I should give him time but I don't want him to leave me. And with that my sadness turns into anger.

"Fine then, if you want to leave me just like everyone else then go! Just get out!" I move out of his way and point to the door. I am sobbing now and he hesitates then walks out.

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**SORRY ITS SUCH A SHORT STORY BUT A NEW LONGER CHAPTER WILL BE OUT WEDNESDAY! OMG YAY **

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	3. Chapter 3

**OKAY AND THIS WEEK ALMOST FORGOT TO TELL YOU I WILL BE POSTING CHAPTER 3 ON EITHER FRI OR SAT I HAVE A FEW MORE OURS IN THE WEEK THEN I HAVE I LIKE MONTHS SO THIS SHOULD BE A GOOD AND NAUGHTY STORY! M CHAPTERS ARE GOING TO BE COMING UP WITHIN THE NEXT FEW CHAPTERS! YAYAAYAYA**

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**CHAPTER 3**

I am surprised he actually left. Never said but, or I'm not leaving you, he just walked out. I feel sadness roll over me. What if he never returns? I start to sob and feel terrible. Stupid Gale! Why did I ever think it was going to be a good idea to tell him that Gale and I pretty much made out? I miss him already. I tell myself that he will be home at bed time so I proceed to take a shower. When I get out I expect to see Peeta but he is still not back. I make dinner and leave a bowl out for him to eat to. I find myself eating alone. I read in the living room for some time and when I look at the clock it is already 10, so I decide to go up for bed. As I lay in bed I feel alone and cold. I wait for about another 2 hours before realizing that he is not coming home and cry myself to sleep that night.

I wake up the next morning from a nightmare, I roll over and feel for Peeta but he is still not there. I open my eyes and can see the sun slowly sweeping over my room. It must be early morning. I really need to get my mind off of Peeta so I decide to go hunting. As I am walking to the meadow I see Gale sitting there and looking into nothingness. I don't feel like confronting him right now I have just too many things on my mind. So I try to sneak past him and luckily he is too lost in thought to see me. As I enter I take a deep breath and it feels like my first breath in years. I think about Peeta all that morning. I come home that evening to find that Peeta has still not returned. This makes me even madder. How could he have reacted this way? Gale kissed ME I never wanted to kiss Gale. It was so difficult to decide what to do in that moment I was never and had never thought I would be in that position. I spend the rest of the day sitting in the living room waiting for a Peeta that never came.

At around 7 I decide to go and take a shower. I stand in the hot water of the shower for a while, before I break down in sobs. How could Peeta be so mad? I don't want to lose him, do I? All my actions say yes. I stop crying and think for a second. What if Gale was right? What if I don't REALLY love Peeta? What happened to the old Katniss? She would have never cried, and definitely never loved anyone after all she has lost. I want to be her again the strong independent girl who no one could break. I wanted to become the girl who was on fire again. And that girl would not have given everything up for Peeta Mellark. At least not so easily.

**OH MY GLOBB! OKAY SO VIEWERS I HAVE READ A LOT OF PEETA AND KATNISS FANFICTION BUT OF ALL OF THEM KATNISS HAS NEVER DECIDED TO GIVE UP A LITTLE ON PEETA :lO AND IF YOU DO FIND ONE PLEASE BE A DOLL MESSAGE A LINK TO ME! I WOULD LOVE TO READ IT!**

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	4. Chapter 4

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**CHAPTER 4**

It's been another long week of nothingness. I thought that I might be able to get through for a while without Peeta but by the 2nd week I was dying to have him hold me and fight of the nightmares with his strong comforting arms. I knew that I had to stay strong and see if I could do it and I did but only for a few more weeks. He tried to talk but I knew we would just end up arguing so I ignored him. I was surprised when he yelled at me to stop being so selfish but again I blew it off, I should not have. To tell you the truth to have someone like Peeta call you selfish is like a jab in the stomach. I told him to hold his tongue or I would leave so that's what he did, but I should have been the one to hold my tongue.

During the second week Peeta was there but just I ignored him. I shut the door before going to be letting him now that he was not welcome, and ate dinner without him. It was at the end of the third week that he stopped trying altogether. I had gotten home from hunting one morning to find that none of his painting stuff was here and that all his clothes had been taken. That night I saw his lights on and that was when I started to feel the nothingness creep upon me. It was like a shadow in the night. At first I started to sleep in then I stopped hunting and know I am not even eating anymore. I feel lonely, empty, and again love has failed me.

I was once open to love, not kids but love. When I was very young like 7 or 8 I remember wanting a family, maybe even kids. But after my father died and my mom might as well have my love was gone but for Prim. As time carried on love became a lost thought and I was always only focused on my family. Now though even after all I have said and been through I have changed my mind about love. I want to love Peeta. I want to be loved by Peeta. As this thought runs through my head I start to sit up. It has probably been 3 days since I've eaten or got out of bed. I look around and decide it is best to take a shower and eat. After that I will go see Peeta. I need to tell him how I feel and what I want.

After I am feed I make my way out the door and to Peeta's house. If I know him he is home baking. I knock and wait for an answer. But there is nothing not even a footstep to the door. I decide he probably did not hear me and enter his house. It is identical to mine but his looks much more beautiful with lovely walls and pictures hung. I walk in and look in the kitchen, nothing, look in the living room, nothing. And that's when I hear him. He is upstairs I can hear something. I can't quit make out what it is until I am at the door looking at it. I see Peeta and fucking some brunette. I hear a scream and wonder who it came from for a second until Peeta land the girl look at me and I realize that I am the one who scream. Then I hear Peeta scream and get off of the girl. I am running as fast as I can out of his house and through the street when I hear him yelling my name, and I start to run faster. I get to my house and lock the door and the first thing I do it fall to the ground and scream and cry. I had known that love was wrong. You always end up getting hurt and I let myself get here. I hear Peeta from the door yelling my name and banging on the door. But I ignore him. What is the point of answering it, what is even the point of breathing? Everyone I have loved has died or left. And even if it were physically possible for me to open the door what would Peeta say? How could he explain fucking another girl? He was supposed to love ME and with all the time he spent waiting for me 2 weeks made him completely change his mind, fall in love with another girl and then go on to make "love" to her? How could he!

I sit there for about 3 hours just crying and giving myself a massive headache. I finally have the strength to drag myself up to my bed and can't find the energy to even open my eyes for the next 4 days. I don't eat, dream, pee, or shower. I now know how my mother felt when my father died… Forever alone and gone. I thought I knew what the feeling of being alone was but not until now have I ever truly experienced such loneliness from being "in", well what I used to call in love. For Prim it was different, I loved her but from birth, she gave me a reason to keep going and I knew that my feeling for her would and could never be replaced. But Peeta made me feel alive and beautiful; I was so content when I was with him. Now I don't know if I ever even want to see his face again. I …. I don't know what to do anymore, the woods although I love them they make me think about Gale and in my state that could lead to some regrets. I can't go anywhere anymore. My life is over.

I spend the next week sleeping and crying. After you have been hurt so many times, give in one more time and then though you know you shouldn't and get hurt one last time it really starts to take its toll. I have gone outside maybe once since I found Peeta and his whore. And that didn't end very well. He tried to talk to me and I ended up punching him within point 5 seconds. Just seeing Peeta made me feel nothing but hate and anger. After that I knew I had to get away. I decided to call Annie and go to district 4 to see Finn. Annie ended up being pregnant before Finnick had left. I felt so bad for her having to raise a baby all by herself. I decided it would be the best place to go, for comfort and because I was DIEING to see what Finnick had contributed to this baby.

I told Haymitch about my leaving and asked him not to tell Peeta, I didn't want more drama. I just want to be over and done with Peeta. As I am walking to the train station I see Peeta at the bakery. I hope he doesn't see me nut just my luck he happens to catch me from the corner of his eye and when he does see me I don't think I have ever seen him run for something so fast in his life.

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	5. BETA!

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	6. Chapter 5

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**CHAPTER 5**

I don't run, or try to ignore him I just stand there and wonder why he did it. I say this in my mind but somehow it comes out without warning.

"Why would you do that to me? I was mauled by Gale but this, this is…" I can't even get out what to say. I was only trying to be truthful to Peeta. And when you think about it what could Peeta possibly say to make what he did okay? That should have been me. I was supposed to be his first and him mine. I want to cry again.

"Katniss I'm so sorry you don't you don't understand!"

"I don't understand what! Just how much you LOVE that girl?! Or just how much you still want to hurt me? You know Peeta I have found that if you're not hurting me physically with your fucked up head then you're just hurting me mentally!"Ouch. I didn't even mean for that one to come out. I can feel everyone's eyes on use.

"I'm so sorry Katniss. You know that I love you and I made a" I cut him off

"Just stop… Please, I have a train to catch and I REALLY can't miss it." I can't even look at him I know he wants to cry and if I see him cry then I'm going to cry and it's going to be a big mess.

"Oh I see. I ran you out of town?!" He gives a small sad laugh. "I never had a girl reject me this bad."

I look up and start balling my eyes out, I swear it's almost as bad as when I first saw Peeta and that girl.

"I need to go I say to him but he catches my arm and pulls me into a hug. I know he's to strong and I have always felt so safe in his arms. I try to pull away but he just holds me tighter I start to hit his chest and scream and that is when he lets go, but now by choice, I see Gale standing in front of me when I open my eyes. Oh god this can't end well!

"Can't you tell when a girl doesn't want you Mellark? Because it sure looks like everyone around here can! But I'm sure you wouldn't know that with all the girls around here getting a little piece of you!"

"I'm just trying to make her stop crying."

"We'll leave that to someone who ACTUALLY loves her. AKA not you!"

Gale pulls me up and into his arms and carries me back home. I am still crying when Gale puts me down on my couch. I need to stop crying so we can talk. I haven't talked to anyone in weeks and need to be updated on things.

"Gale?"

"Ya Catnip?" He smiles at me and I feel more love then I have in months.

"What did you mean when you said everyone has had a piece of Peeta?" Because I know I sure haven't gotten a piece of Peeta.

He just stares at me with big sad eyes and I know the question I just asked does not have a good answer.

"Well um Catnip, Peeta I don't know why but I am guessing that you and Peeta OBVIUSLY had q fight and he really hasn't been taking it well. He has been sleeping around with almost all the girls in the town, but after one girl I think she was a brunette that streak was kind of gone."

I feel so betrayed, one day I am in love with Peeta and then the next he is out fucking any girl he can find? That just doesn't sound like Peeta.

"I still love him... I think." Saying that out loud came as a surprise but I think that it's true. Gale just stares at me in wonder.

"How could you still love someone who did that to you? He cheated on you… MULTIPULE times!" I look at Gale with a face that says nothing.

"I don't know but I do know that no matter what he does there will always be something in me that makes me love him."

Gale stands up and walks over to me. When I stand up and our lips are only inches away, it's just like the night that he kissed me and I didn't pull away. Sadly again I don't pull away and his lips meet mine. To tell you the truth it feels good to feel loved and not lonely. I know I shouldn't like this but I really do and I just stand there and kiss him back. I am surprised when I am the one who starts to deepen the kiss and when Gales tongue touches mine somehow all reality hits me at once and I can now since the person who has been watching use the whole time. I back up and look around to see Peeta standing in the door way looking at use. And at that moment something hits me. Spite. So I deepen the kiss all over again and start to wrap my legs around gales waist and he pulls me up on him, I start to grind into him when I can feel him just a little through his pants I calm the kiss down again and back up. I see Peeta still standing there but tell Gale Ill come and see him tomorrow and that's when he turns around to find Peeta there as well I act just as shocked when he sees him but tell him it's okay and to just leave. Now I am here in my house with Peeta alone and a little horny…

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	7. Chapter 6

**CHAPTER 5**

**FINALLY THERE IS A LEMON IN THIS SORRY THE LEMON IS NOT AS WELL... DESCRIPTIVE I WILL LEAVE THAT FOR WELL UM I GUESS HAPPIER CHAPTERS? **

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"How many girls?" I ask him.

"Katniss does that really ma." I cut him off.

"How many girls Peeta!"

"2, just 2 girls." I want to cry, and surprisingly I really wish that Gale was here.

"Katniss I." I cut him off again.

"I thought you loved me! And yet again I got hurt. I thought that of all the people to hurt me you would be the least likely but I guess I was wrong again." I am starting to cry.

" I do love you Katniss."

"No you used to love me! Don't you see Peeta? You waited for me since we were 5 but a few weeks of me ignoring you and you go and FUCK some other girls!"

"Katniss that wasn't me! I had been having so many flashbacks then that's why I went to my own house. I was too afraid I might hurt you."

"Well nicely done because you did hurt me!" I am sobbing now.

Why am I crying so much? Peeta comes over and holds me but I don't want him right now. I want Gale I am still to mad at Peeta. He broke my heart, fucked some other girls and now wants to just play the, I never want to hurt you card?! Oh hell no! Not right now at least. I just need some space. And those are my last thoughts before I fall asleep wrapped in Peeta's arms.

I wake up still wrapped in Peeta's arms. And for a few moments feel good. But just like when I was kissing Gale reality hits me. I can't be here with Peeta. But when I look up I see that he has been watching me the whole time and I have been caught. Not that snuggling with Peeta should be a crime but I don't trust him anymore and for some reason the first thing that hits me in the face when I think about being with Peeta is I don't want to give him my virginity. He didn't give me his and I don't want to give him mine. Though I know I will forgive him and probably give myself to him, I don't want him to be my first anymore. I feel sad at this thought but know that it is true. I get up and walk into the kitchen and open the cabinet as soon as I open it I realize I'm not even a little hungry. I turn around to find Peeta seating at the kitchen table drinking some coffee and holding out a cup for me. I'm not thirsty either but what would be the harm of taking it?

"How did you sleep?" He asks me just like before everything happened.

"Um fine I guess." I don't even know how to talk to him anymore.

I sit down and sip my coffee. It feels so awkward not having anything to talk about.

"I really missed you." He says. I have never been good with words but actions would never be able to explain how I feel right now. I don't want to run away anymore but I don't want him to think I'm so easy that a couple of apologies can win my heart back over because they can't. So I just try to sum up my feelings in a few sentences.

"Peeta I still love you. But with love I feel there needs to be trust and for me and you well… There is no trust. None at all, and I know that you can earn it back but it is going to take a while." I think that went well! I mentally pat myself on the back.

"Okay, will do Miss. Everdeen. And with that he is standing and hugging me. It feels good but I still don't know what to do.

"Is it okay if I bring you some bread later?"

"Sure. Gale will probably be over though." I am excited to see Gale again even though last time I saw him we were in a make out session and then I ended up sleeping in Peeta arms… It had been a crazy night.

At that Peeta kisses my forehead and is out the door. I decide to take a shower and get ready for my day. By the time I am out of the shower Gale has already made his way inside my home and is sitting on the couch.

I come in and find him reading. He looks at me and I don't even have time to get his name out before his tongue is all over mine. And something tells me he thought and imagined this all last night because his motions are even getting me going. I need to stop but it really does feel good. His hands make their way down my back and it sends chills up my spine. Then I feel his hand grab my butt. I know I should stop now, what if Peeta saw… Well I saw him having sex with that brunette girl and I already know I don't want to lose myself to him so I don't really see the harm in maybe hooking up with Gale. It is risky but what isn't risky for me anymore? So I let him. It slowly gets hotter and hotter. He starts to remove my shirt and it feels good to be wanted like this. I move my hands up his shirt and he is so ripped and muscular I actually feel turned on by this! He cups my boobs and I decide to make a move and remove my bra. At first I feel very exposed but when I see how in awe he is I am pretty surprised. He takes off his shirt and then within a few more swift moves I realize we are both completely naked, I look down and see just how big he is. The first thing I think is how in god's name is he going to fit that thing in me? He is really big. He picks me up and sets me on the couch the entire time without breaking the kiss. He looks at me for a sign of okay and I just nod my head and he positions himself at my entrance. He starts to enter and it is not as bad as I thought but mid way through it hits me and it's like a medal stick down there. I let out a small cry and he stops and starts to slowly pull out but I hold him still and tell him to keep going. He does and when he is all the way in it still hurts pretty badly. He starts to go slowly in and out, after a few thrusts it feels a little good but it's not as good as I had hoped. He starts to really speed up and that's when I hit my climax it doesn't feel amazing or like the best thing in the world but when he comes inside me is probably one of the best feelings. To hear him climax and then feel his cum inside me is amazing.

We lay on the couch for a few minutes then I get up and go into the bathroom to get my robe. It is at the very moment I hear Peeta yell when I open the door to find Gale standing naked with a blanket around him and Peeta freaking out and punching him in the face.

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	8. CHANGE!

**CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE **

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I come in and find him reading. He looks at me and I don't even have time to get his name out before his tongue is all over mine. And something tells me he thought and imagined this all last night because his motions are even getting me going. But I stop him this time with all my might. I want to be with Peeta and this can't be it.

I'm sorry Gale but I can't do this, I love Peeta and I do forgive him." I say and he gets an angry look in his eyes.

"Why do you still love him!"

"I don't know Gale! But I do know that he is the one! He has always been the one and I know that you love me but I don't love you. I'm so sorry Gale."

And with that he walks out of my house and as much as I don't want to admit it he has probably just walked out of my life.

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	9. Chapter 7

**LEAVE SOME IDEAS OF WHAT YOU GUYS MIGHT WANT IN ONE OF THE UP COMING CHAPTERS. MORE DRAMA OR...**

**CHAPTER 7**

_4 MONTHS LATER!_

I wake up in his arms again. I missed this feeling so much. Peeta and I have been slowly growing back together but things can still get a little awkward. But in the long run I'm so happy we are through the worst of it. I get try to get out of bed but Peeta grabs my arm and pull's me back down to him. I smile and roll on top of him.

"Where do you think you're going?" He asks with a smirk on his mouth. I stick my tongue out at him.

"Breakfast." I bend down to peck his lips but he ends up rolling use over. I love the way his soft lips feel on my own. He swipes his tongue over my lips and I open my lips a little and his tongue is all over my. Our tongues duel for a minute before he has to break away for a breath. I try to look at him seductively but it doesn't work and he just laughs at me. At that I frown and push him off me.

"Aww, I'm sorry. Come back." I look over and make my eyes look like they're going to cry.

"I'm sorry Katniss really." He gets off the bed and comes to give me a hug. But instead I turn around quick and jump on top of him, pinning him to the bed. We both start laughing and smiling.

"I love you Katniss." Umm, it's like a brain freeze I don't know what to even say. But I mean I guess I do love him to. But I need time to think so I just kiss him. He breaks the kiss.

"You didn't say it." Oh god here we go.

"I know… I just need time." He nods and gets up. I feel bad, I know he loves me but I'm still so scared. Truthfully the whole Gale thing blew over, but sex… It's a little harder sometimes. I decide to lie in bed for a few more minutes. I close my eyes for what I think are a few moments but when I open my eyes again I can see the sun setting. I get out of bed and head down stairs. I enter the kitchen to find Peeta sitting at the kitchen table drawing.

"What you drawing?" I come over and lean on his shoulder. But he quickly closes the book and puts it down.

"Nothing, don't worry about it." Well thanks now I'm defiantly going to worry about it!

"Please." I try to give him the puppy eyes but he just grabs the sketch pad and kisses my forehead. I don't want you to see it yet… It will be like my little surprise." I don't know why but after that last sentence I feel so horny.

"Can I give you a surprise?" I walk over to him slowly and grab his collar of his shirt. I kiss him deeply not even waiting to ease into it. He hesitates for a moment but then returns the kiss. We hadn't really done anything we almost fooled around a few times but Peeta always stopped use. I know I want this though. I took him back even though he cheated, he took me back even after Gale kissed me and with everything we have been through I think we… well I since he has done this before deserves this.

I break the kiss. "I love you Peeta."

He stares at me then we are back in our kiss. I start to grind into him and I can hear him moan a little He reaches out and puts a hand on my hip it makes me tremble with desire. To have his hands on me in an intimate way makes me smile and want to make him feel good. I pull away for a second of silence to look into his beautiful ocean blue eyes then curl my hand around his neck and softly put my lips on his it slowly gets more and more heated. I grab his hand and lead him up to the bed room. When we are upstairs I push him to the edge of the bed where he sits. And as seductively as I can I pull my shirt over my head and then take off my pants. Peeta is sitting there in awe at my body. I start to feel a little weird so I step closer to him and pull him up to me and kiss him again. I bring his hand done to cup my ass. He pulls my legs up around him and lays me on the bed. He starts to take off his shirt and I swear I could lose myself at just the sight of him, his muscles are so perfect and it looks like he has been working out for years. He leans down and starts to leave wet sloppy kisses on my neck. I moan as he does this. His hands travel down my sides and pulls use close to each other so we are flat against each other. I start to grind into him again and he moans. I feel a burning fire inside me more intense than ever and I can tell Peeta feels it to when I feel something hard poke my leg. At that we both start pawing and rubbing at each other. After a few frenzied moments of that I know that I need him NOW.

"Peeta please. I need you." I moan or whisper. At this moment I just need him to hear me.

Since I'm already naked he stands up and removes his boxers. I sit there for a second or well more like a minute just staring at him in awe and also wondering how in the fuck all of him is going to fit in me. I can tell he is starting to feel a little weird so I pull him on me and kiss him tenderly. He moves his hands down to m and starts to rub my folds. I swear I see stars, it feels that good. He starts to rub faster and I stop him.

"Peeta I want my first orgasm to be with you in me." I say this and I can see that he knows just what I want now.

He starts to position himself at my entrance and I give him a small nod as if to say "I'm ready." And at that he starts to put himself inside me. It hurts like hell. I turn my face away from him and try to stifle my small cries .He stops and I think he is all the way in but when I look down I see that he only had his tip and I little more in. Oh god! He sees me and looks worried.

"Do you want me to stop?" He seems upset but I want this and I want it now.

"No don't stop I'm fine. I've had worse." He starts to go in again and stops once he is fully in. After that he doesn't really pause. He starts off slow and the pain is replaced with pleasure. As we go on his thrusts get more frantic and I can start to feel myself coming close to my release. It feels like my insides are being wound up, then I release and I lose all control. I scream out Peeta's name and grab onto him. A few more thrusts and he looses' himself to. I love how good it feels to have him come inside of me.

"That was… amazing." I say as soon as I catch my breath.

"You're amazing." He turns on his side to look at me. And in that moment I know I really do love him.

**A SPECIAL THANKS TO MY BETA!**

**SORRY FOR NO CHAPTER I HAD A FAMILY MEMBER DYE :( BUT ALL IS FINE THINGS WILL CONTINUE AS NORMAL!1**

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**THANKS LOVE YOU GUYS**


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